BADventist

Month: December, 2011

The Frivolous Divorce Debate

I always get excited when two of bloggers I follow go head to head with each other. This time around Susan Walsh of Hooking Up Smart fame issued challenge to Dalrock to prove that frivolous divorces instigated by women was really an issue. 7man from over at Complementarian Loners has written a decent summary of the events.

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Book Recommendations

Do you want to know the question to Life, the Universe and Everything? Are you considering coming out of the closet to your BFF? Do you feel unloved? No? Regardless, I’m sure Clarey’s Worthless still has something for you!

The official synopsis of Worthless is rather cliché for a Victorian era novel. “Magdalene was only four when she was sent away to the orphanage. Her father – a budding architect – had disowned her so he could focus on breaking into the Neo-Gothic genre. Magdalence did not take this abandonment in her stride, and kept the pain locked away and secret. However, this isn’t the only secret Magdalence has locked away. Magdalence has decided she is a transsexual, but things have become more confusing now that she’s starting to develop feelings for her new project partner, Charles.”

Like I said, the synopsis does the book no justice. To begin with the story doesn’t follow a linear sequence of events. It jumps all over the place from the present to the past and then to the future with little warning and you are just left trying figuring how it all fits together. The story is also split across a number of different timelines, allowing us to see what would have happened if our protagonist had taken a different route. There are also a whole stack of characters in the story to flesh it out a bit. Fortunately they are generally very well developed and believable. Stacy for example hates the sound of chewing, which makes for an absolute hoot when she agrees to go on a double date to an upmarket restaurant.

Like his last book, Clarey’s unique writing style draws you into the story and challenges your assumptions. His trademark wit is well utilised as is his economic genius. However, make no mistake, Worthless is a dark and depressing tale of a girl making all the wrong decisions. The inclusion of extra timelines allowing us to see how things could have panned out had wiser decisions been made was certainly an interesting gimmick, but it did leave me with a rather chilling feeling.

On a side note, Freedom Twenty-Five has also released a book. Now, my review copy seems to have been lost in the post, so I no idea what it is about. However, judging by my past experience with Frost’s work, I’m sure it will be both informative, and interactive.

Handy Rape Prevention Tips

I’ve been avoiding reading any feminist litrature as of late. It brings back the horrible memories of the politically correct SVY3200. However, a Rape Preventation Cheat Sheet was just too good to pass up.

Every guy is a potential rapist – including you. This sounds like utter bullshit, right?

Sure does. I suppose it is to be expected, poop seems to turning into another feminists talking point.

Part of the problem is that most rapes aren’t the violent stranger-rape type. Many cases of sexual assault happen in cases where the perpetrator doesn’t think what he’s doing is rape.

Sounds like a bit of miscommunication on the rape-ees part.

You may think you’re being daring and confident when you go in for a kiss – the girl on the other end may feel like you’re forcing yourself on her and be legitimately scared for her safety. You may think you’re being coy by putting your arm up in front of the door and saying, “how about a kiss?” – the girl may feel like you’re seriously blocking her from leaving. What you intend doesn’t matter in comparison to how she feels about it.

Gee, this is so helpful. Yes may mean no, and no may mean yes? It wasn’t a lack of communication that was the problem, it was a lack of mind reading!

Watch how much you drink. Quick riddle: what do you call sexual assault when you’re blackout drunk and don’t even realize what you’re doing? Give you a clue: it starts with an R and ends with you in jail.

No matter who gets drunk, it’s the guys fault.

Alcohol shuts off the part of the brain responsible for considering consequences – you may get it in your head that the girl is totally into you, and you just need to get things started and she’ll be ready to go in no time, or you could literally forget that she said “No” two minutes ago.

So no definitly means no, while yes means no depending on how she feels?

And it doesn’t matter how bad you feel the day after, or that you really didn’t intend to force yourself on a girl.

It doesn’t matter how a guy feels, it only matters how he acts? This is probably the most reasonable line in the whole piece. It is a shame though that the author doesn’t see the hypocrisy of holding women to a different standard.

Get clear consent.

Sounds fair enough…

But it’s also important to recognize that “maybe” falls under “not yes,” and “I don’t know” falls under “not yes” and “I guess” falls under “not yes” as well, and even silence falls under “not yes.” Women aren’t socialized to say “no” directly. They’re also not always comfortable with saying “yes,” either. So, sometimes “maybe” means “yes”, and sometimes “maybe” means “no,” and sometimes “maybe” actually means maybe.

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Be ready, able, and willing to stop at any time.

With conditions like this I don’t see how anybody could get started.

In conclusion, yes may mean no, no can mean no, and maybe means yes or no. If in doubt, use your mind reading skills.